Thank you email :D

I received this email yesterday. I took out the name and payment details. This is not a joke. I loved this email.
It reads:
Hi Celestyn,

I have received the fax of the data approval forms.

Thank you and have a magical day,

xxxxx

And this picture

The fake out

My little niece Ashlyn has taken her time to warm up to me. After a year she finally smiles at me. She lets me hold her about every five weeks. I keep track.

Marshall and I went to see the girls and Rory and Lauren the other day and got a great hug from Sydnee. Ashlyn walked into the room and squealed with delight. This is it, I thought. She really likes me.

I knelt down and held out my arms. She held out hers and started running to me. Giggling while she ran I knew it would be a great embrace. Just as she got within reach she turned and went to Rory! FAKE OUT! To make matters worse, she laughed at me. She knew I wanted a hug and used it against me. Clever little girl.

Next time I see her I will bring a cookie and give it to her, but just as she reaches for it I will turn and give it to Lauren.

It's been a while

Work has been so crazy I haven't been able to remember funny things.

However, the next two stories involve a beautiful girl named Lindsey, aka Peter. Sorry I can't help but share.

Setting: Lindsey and I watching the telly, a commercial comes on for 500 days of Summer

Celestyn: "I want to see that"

Lindsey: "Is that how many days there are in summer?"

Today at 7:00 am.

Rissa: "Celestyn!" yeah. I was supposed to be at work at 7.

Lindsey aka Eunice was also working at 7 and thought I was in the shower.

I wasn't I was asleep.

So I made it to work and said to her "Eunice! Why didn't you wake me?!"

It was Rissa's idea. A quote from a favorite movie. If you haven't seen She's The Man, you should.

Rachel's Golden Birthday Jokes

Rachel was dazzling in her all gold outfit tonight. We celebrated her golden birthday the best we knew how- by telling jokes. I was especially  hilarious tonight. 

 Q: How do you call Helen (keller)?

A: By pounding on the ground

Rissa, Nancy and myself were getting quite blue in the legs so we shared a big John  Deere blanket. 

Nancy: This blanket is John(paraphrased)

Me: Let's all three share the John. 

Hahahaha, I am funny.

Playing the what if game.

Rissa: What if we when we talked we made animal noises?

 Me: Then Helen would be a whale (Auuurrrhh)

I apologize to those sensitive to Helen Keller jokes. I am immature and find them funny. 

RRRUFFF!

Lots of funny things happen. I've found most situations are "had to be there" ones.
Here is one from church the other day.

Brielle was tired. Super tired. She tosses her hair and says, "My earrings make noises like a dog." They do, they clank like a dog with a collar and nametag... and then she said this, "Sometimes I scare myself when I am walking."

You see, Brielle is extremely afraid of dogs. So her earrings sounding like a dog running behind her could really startle her. It gets worse because if she walks faster, then her earrings swing more, clanging more.That could sound like the "dog" is walking faster also. She is too scared to look. What if Kujo is following her ?
But no worries. No dog is following her. It is just her earrings and Brielle is scaring herself.

awkward conversations

Amidst a serious discussion about email marketing, Ash was distracted by Karlie Jean.
"Yesterday he stuck a Mike N Ike up my nose."- Karlie Jean
Everyone turns to Karlie Jean. "Are we talking about a boyfriend or a child?"- Andy
"Both"- Karlie Jean.

HAHA.

Blondes really do have more fun

Any trip with my sista is guaranteed to have lots of laughter. Brielle and myself went shopping at the Gateway on Saturday. After four hours of shopping we decided to go to Claire's for one more parking validation. I mean, I could always use some new earrings. I found some that I liked. Bri was trying on rings and I found a cool one.
It looked like the one below only instead of "love" it had white flowers on it.


You should be able to guess what happened next. Yes, the ring got stuck! I decided to try it on my middle finger because I don't believe you should wear it on your ring finger if it's not a diamond. I got the ring on just fine but then i couldn't get it off. I tugged for about ten minutes, the whole time " I might have to buy it" I kept saying to Bri. I was certain that I would just walk up to the cashier and swipe the ring, still on my finger, across the scanner. I tugged some more. This ring was going nowhere. My finger was turning purple,and since it was my middle finger I was flipping people off trying to get the ring off.
Finally Bri put some lotion on it and it came off. I should have bought it, because I put lotion on it. Nope, I wiped it off and put it back. Bought my earrings and left.
Oh and the whole reason for going into Claire's, the parking validation. We had to go to the information kiosk to get it validated. When we were leaving, we found out that we didn't need it! That ring got stuck for no good reason. But I got some cute earrings.

On the way home we decided to stop at Target.
I moved into the right lane to get off the exit and
Bri shouts: "Target! There it is".

Me: I know, Why do you think I got into this lane?

Bri: Because it is prettier.

:D she is funny. Together, us blondes have a lot of fun.

Bump It!

Bump It
Urban dictionary defines it as "agreeing with someone- bump it dude" or "Forgeeet about it, I'm not doing that"

Utah defines it as the rat's nest in one's hair. You may have seen Utah hair. It seems to make a square or triangle around some chick's hair. How does one get their hair to do this?
They take a section of hair and rat it. Rat it real good. Then they proceed to smooth over the hair on top to hide the rat's next. The result? Lot's of "body" on top of your head.

As I was getting ready one morning I saw an infomercial that had a product to save these girls from all the ratting.
Here are the steps:





And the end result:











If you would like to purchase these they are available at bumpits.com.

These people are so behind. Where were they six years ago when I was stuck in southern Utah and we had to stop and rat girls' hair before we could go into a building? Seriously I saw that happen.
I just don't get it.

This is not how I bump it.

You broke it!

Saturday night provided me with mucho mucho laughter. It seemed we were all sleep deprived, making everything funnier than normal.

Rissa made cookies. While they were baking in the oven, I noticed something wasn't right in the kitchen.
I pointed down and yelled, "You BROKE the chair!!!"
Well I was pointing at the crooked oven drawer. Cue in laughter here.
Yes I had made the classic mistake of drawer and chair. Everyone knows that a chair and a drawer are practically the same thing.

JAXDREE

I have some funny friends named Jackie and Deidre. Collectively they are known as Jaxdree. Funny, yes, I know.
Yesterday was Deidre's birthday.

We were buying movie tickets to see "Earth" and there was a crazy long line outside. What were people so anxious to see? Star Trek. I don't get it.
Yep, Deidre yelled "IS THIS THE LINE FOR EARTH?" to the fifty plus people in line.
Yeah, our little group of five plus one loner- the ONLY people in the Earth movie.
Those trekkies missed out.

A lot of other funny things were said but not appropriate for public consumption.

Why aren't you married?

Today's post is brought to you courtesy of Betsy Hollingshead. My delightfully funny cousin.
The few single cousins that are left had a good time venting our frustrations at the constant and awkward questions we face as single adults.

WHY aren't you MARRIED?
(answers are paraphrased)
"I don't know, it's not a choice I made"

-You know I have a son.
"Oh, great. I have a parent"

The all time favorite- YOU are so CUTE. Why aren't you married?
"Ugly people can't get married! I know a lot of ugly people that are married. Being cute is not a reason you get married."

Don't forget the major pet peeve of single adults. "I have a friend, he's single."
Oh please set me up with someone that is single. Don't think of my hobbies, level of attraction or even if he is taller than me. All I need is for him to be single. Match made in heaven. Gag.

A few funnies

I am obviously having a hard time with the post every day thing. But here are a few funny moments from the weekend.

Showers
Rissa and myself trying to get the shower curtain rod down,finally succeeding, only to find that somehow the curtain rod was too short when we put it back up. We finally figured out how to lengthen only to get it too long so it was sitting at a very sharp angle. And then again, how do we get it down to fix it?
It took us forever.

Reverence at Church
Church is supposed to be a time of reverence, especially during the sacrament. Unless you are sitting with Stacy and Rissa. The quietest time of the whole church block I look over to see the shaking shoulders and bright red faces trying to hold in their laughter. What was so funny?
This announcement in the programs:

Wednesday
pickup volleyball at 7:00 pm

Stacy dear says to Rissa, "I don't get it." She thought they meant pickup trucks. How were they going to play volleyball with pickup trucks. Oh Stacy, please keep these blonde moments for after sacrament meeting.

New Blog Devoted to funny

I have a goal of finding something funny everyday to laugh about. So I decided to give these funnies their own blog.

Funny from yesterday:
Imagine a cruise ship, a little lady and toilet paper following her around for two hours. This little lady will remain anonymous, but doesn't that image bring a little smile to your face.