This Blog Shall LIVE AGAIN

I know it has been over a year since I last posted. YIKES!
I guess funny things just don't happen. NOT TRUE.

So I will resurrect this blog to continue to bring immature jokes and embarrassing stories your way.

Crap. Now I need to think of something funny...
Still thinking...
Still thinking...
hmm...

well to get it started I will share some embarrassing moments from today.
Featuring: Myself and Marissa Booth, my coworker

Me: He is so ACD, I mean everything has to be lined up straight. So ACD.

MB: You mean OCD?

ugh

Later on...
I slipped into Aldos to check the price on some sandals. I tried the door. pulled, pushed. Nothing. Tried the other door, pulled, pushed... all while Marissa is standing on the other side of it laughing. Yeah you have to push HARD to get it open. I am a weakling.

On the way back to the office in the revolving doors Marissa pulls on it so it stops mid motion.

Marissa is having a good day, laughing at my clumsiness, ditzyness, whatever we call it. I call it having a cold. I'm convinced colds put pressure on your brain and make you do crazy things.

Wow I don't update this often

I kinda forgot about blogging for awhile. Well I'm back now. Don't worry lots of funny things happened since 4 months ago.

Most involve myself.

2 weeks ago. Snow by the curb. Only snow by the curb. Parking lot was dry. Tried to step over the snow. Slipped. Sat down in the snow. Slow motion style. Talent.

A few days ago. I was eating breakfast in my jammies. So was Rissa. She was in her jammies- not mine. I got up to rinse my bowl. Rissa says " What is that on your- did you put your pants on backwards?". Yes I did. I grabbed the strings on the back of my pants and wiggled them like a tail. Apparently I was so tired the night before I put my pants on backwards. I even used the bathroom before breakfast and didn't notice my error. Talent.

My niece. She is a spirited one. My sister-in-law's status included this

She went into her room, pooped, and took her diaper off and then ran around the house..

Hahahahaha. Sorry Lauren but I am so glad that she is yours. I will gladly perform aunt duties, but I am glad I don't have those mother doodies.

Thank you email :D

I received this email yesterday. I took out the name and payment details. This is not a joke. I loved this email.
It reads:
Hi Celestyn,

I have received the fax of the data approval forms.

Thank you and have a magical day,

xxxxx

And this picture

The fake out

My little niece Ashlyn has taken her time to warm up to me. After a year she finally smiles at me. She lets me hold her about every five weeks. I keep track.

Marshall and I went to see the girls and Rory and Lauren the other day and got a great hug from Sydnee. Ashlyn walked into the room and squealed with delight. This is it, I thought. She really likes me.

I knelt down and held out my arms. She held out hers and started running to me. Giggling while she ran I knew it would be a great embrace. Just as she got within reach she turned and went to Rory! FAKE OUT! To make matters worse, she laughed at me. She knew I wanted a hug and used it against me. Clever little girl.

Next time I see her I will bring a cookie and give it to her, but just as she reaches for it I will turn and give it to Lauren.

It's been a while

Work has been so crazy I haven't been able to remember funny things.

However, the next two stories involve a beautiful girl named Lindsey, aka Peter. Sorry I can't help but share.

Setting: Lindsey and I watching the telly, a commercial comes on for 500 days of Summer

Celestyn: "I want to see that"

Lindsey: "Is that how many days there are in summer?"

Today at 7:00 am.

Rissa: "Celestyn!" yeah. I was supposed to be at work at 7.

Lindsey aka Eunice was also working at 7 and thought I was in the shower.

I wasn't I was asleep.

So I made it to work and said to her "Eunice! Why didn't you wake me?!"

It was Rissa's idea. A quote from a favorite movie. If you haven't seen She's The Man, you should.

Rachel's Golden Birthday Jokes

Rachel was dazzling in her all gold outfit tonight. We celebrated her golden birthday the best we knew how- by telling jokes. I was especially  hilarious tonight. 

 Q: How do you call Helen (keller)?

A: By pounding on the ground

Rissa, Nancy and myself were getting quite blue in the legs so we shared a big John  Deere blanket. 

Nancy: This blanket is John(paraphrased)

Me: Let's all three share the John. 

Hahahaha, I am funny.

Playing the what if game.

Rissa: What if we when we talked we made animal noises?

 Me: Then Helen would be a whale (Auuurrrhh)

I apologize to those sensitive to Helen Keller jokes. I am immature and find them funny. 

RRRUFFF!

Lots of funny things happen. I've found most situations are "had to be there" ones.
Here is one from church the other day.

Brielle was tired. Super tired. She tosses her hair and says, "My earrings make noises like a dog." They do, they clank like a dog with a collar and nametag... and then she said this, "Sometimes I scare myself when I am walking."

You see, Brielle is extremely afraid of dogs. So her earrings sounding like a dog running behind her could really startle her. It gets worse because if she walks faster, then her earrings swing more, clanging more.That could sound like the "dog" is walking faster also. She is too scared to look. What if Kujo is following her ?
But no worries. No dog is following her. It is just her earrings and Brielle is scaring herself.